Author Archives: Soon Staff

A new study found close to a 1:1 correlation between having laser eyes in your Twitter profile picture and impaired capacity for rational thought. “We found a strong disposition towards following arbitrary social cues and an inability to form coherent thoughts, especially about technology, finance, economics, money, and investment” Said John’s Hopkins researcher Elliot Grimm…More

TWITTER – Popular podcast host Joe Rogan Tweeted a segment from his show yesterday, in which he said, “Bitcoin seems pretty fucking interesting man. I wonder if you think that up on DMT. Can you imagine if gorillas were using this shit? You know they can use tools and shit, right? Like they learn to…More

Frustrated with the corruption of politics, many see Bitcoin as the solution. The phrase, “Bitcoin fixes this” has become a rallying cry among those who want a better world and also want to get rich without working. “The problem with laws and Constitutions is they are words written and maintained by humans,” a Bitcoin activist…More

SAN FRANCISCO – A group of BSV investors is touting the latest app in their portfolio, a game called BitSmiles where users swipe a button for $0.0001 to re-arrange a smiley face puzzle back to its normal shape. “We’ve been laying the groundwork for enterprise on BSV for some time, and this latest app proves…More

Bran Jadsen has been reading crypto investment charts for a very long time. He cut his teeth in the bull market of 2017, earning a reputation for correctly predicting rising prices of altcoins at a time when everything went up no matter what. “I was saying ‘It’s going up. It’s all going up!’ at a…More

After mounting, totally unfair criticism over the fact that Tether was lying to everyone the entire time about backing their USDT currency 1:1 with USD, the company provided additional evidence to the New York Attorney General’s office via email to clear things up. The email, touted as “Irrefutable proof” of Tether’s innocence, included only a…More

In a move considered controversial by bioethicists and technologists alike, the founder of MicroStrategy and prominent Bitcoin advocate Michael Saylor has uploaded his eternal soul to the Bitcoin Blockchain. Those close to Saylor say he’s been increasingly obsessed with the cryptocurrency, spending his waking hours tweeting cryptic messages about how it offers, “love and light…More

JUDAEAN DESERT – In a find some are calling as big as the Nag Hammadi Scriptures, new texts have emerged after more than a thousand years in a cave, revealing never before seen sayings of Jesus. Though the majority of the texts are almost identical to the gospels and other extrabiblical literature of the time,…More

At The Soon Times we take our job seriously. We seek to report on the world of crypto with the utmost journalistic integrity. Our principles are the same as any good blockchain project: Trustless Zero confirmations Mostly kinda anonymous Veneer of decentralization Threatening to the status quo Not easy for normies to understand Full of…More

PETER SCHIFF’S BUNKER – Financial guru and contrarian investor Peter Schiff, who made a name for himself by correctly predicting the 2008 housing bubble pointing out, counter to all the sophisticated economists, that you can’t make people rich by printing more pieces of paper, seems to be the only person on the planet not enamored…More

TWITTER – Bitcoin investor, evangelist, and business owner Roger Ver, once called “Bitcoin Jesus”, faces major backlash over his controversial practice of kindly offering to send people a few dollars worth of BCH instantly for free with no strings attached. “I won’t fall for your fucking scam you disgusting Judas. Go sell your shitcoin bcrash…More

A recent YouTube video claiming Adam Back is the man behind the Satoshi Nakamoto pseudonym, and the inventor of Bitcoin, is being shared and referenced repeatedly by Back on Twitter. “Did you see this video? Did everyone see this? Crazy right? I mean you’d have to be crazy NOT to think I’m Satoshi after seeing…More

Bernard Derkin, a polymath who claims to have “More knowledge and respect for law than any man alive” went to prison today. He was arrested on charges relating to failure to properly file vehicle registration forms and spent several years, his life savings, and his reputation defending himself in all levels of court. It wasn’t…More

CRYPTO TWITTER – A group of self-proclaimed “Toxic Bitcoin Maximalist Anarchists”, who believe that the initiation of violence and any claims to a monopoly on the use of force are always and everywhere immoral and inefficient, are begging and pleading with the US Securities and Exchange Commission to wield their iron fisted bureaucratic monopoly at…More

Responding to criticism that the tiny-block network has high fees and slow confirmation times, BTC Core Developers cleared up confusion yesterday in an email to TST: “BTC works like a charm. You just can’t use it for small, medium, or medium-large transactions because of the extremely high fees, and you don’t want to use it…More

A FOMO-fueled frenzy took place on the popular social media platform Twetch yesterday, upon release of a long awaited technical innovation; a denim hat with the word “Twetch” stitched across it. The hat was preceded by a mysterious promotional campaign promising big things “Soon” with a countdown clock. Many thought it may be the release…More

LONDON – A group of freelance writers for coingeek.com are filing a suit against the popular website thispersondoesnotexist.com, claiming the site is using their photos and passing them off as computer generated people. “Having your identity stolen just to be passed off as a generic, soulless cluster of pixels in order to help a site…More

Well…e-gold is down the toilet. Good idea, but again, centralised authority. The Beta of Bitcoin is live tomorrow. This is decentralized… we try until it works. Some good coders on this. The paper rocks http://bitcoin.org/bitcoin.pdfMore