Man Who Hates Hats, Collectibles, Self, Buys Hat NFT for $2,180 Because Internet Frog Told Him To

A FOMO-fueled frenzy took place on the popular social media platform Twetch yesterday, upon release of a long awaited technical innovation; a denim hat with the word “Twetch” stitched across it.

The hat was preceded by a mysterious promotional campaign promising big things “Soon” with a countdown clock. Many thought it may be the release of the long-awaited Twetch App on iOS and Android devices, or perhaps a decentralized exchange, but were delighted to discover it was a piece of $20 swag.

The hat was called a “Non-Fungible Token”, or NFT, because it also came with a picture of a hat someone made in photoshop the night before, adding several decimal places to the value of the piece of fabric with plastic inside.

“NFTs are the future of wealth storage”, Twetch co-creator Josh Petty said, “They’re right up there with Pokémon cards when it comes to building wealth across generations. I predict in a few decades, this hat will compete with Charizard as an asset. That may sound crazy to you, but that’s how big we’re thinking about this.”

A Twetch user and Hat NFT purchaser who wished to remain anonymous told TST, “I don’t really know what got into me. I needed that hat. And they made it so easy. All I had to do was download HandCash, create an account, click the wallet, click “Top Up”, get redirected to, download VPN software, spoof my IP connection with one in the Netherlands, refresh, create an account, upload my driver’s license image four times until it worked, add my address and credit card info, wait until the next day to get verified, spin up the VPN again, login again, click “buy”, realize I had Euros selected instead of dollars, click “back”, enter the info again in USD, click “buy”, get my credit card rejected three times, text my bank fraud alert to let them know it was legit, try again, wait two hours, get the BSV in my HandCash wallet, transfer it to my Twetch wallet, then click “Buy now” on this hat. It really is like magic.”

Though excited at the time of purchase, he said he’s beginning to wonder what happens next. “I don’t really like to wear hats, or trade cards, but that frog guy on Twetch just made it sound like the future.”

As of press time, the NFT in question has quadrupled in price.

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