Man Who Loves Law Goes to Prison

Bernard Derkin, a polymath who claims to have “More knowledge and respect for law than any man alive” went to prison today.

He was arrested on charges relating to failure to properly file vehicle registration forms and spent several years, his life savings, and his reputation defending himself in all levels of court. It wasn’t enough to keep him out of prison. He was given double life sentences yesterday.

“I will have plenty of time to study law further”, Derkin said, “And I will definitely appeal the appeal of my appeal. I know the ins and outs of this system better than anyone. You have no idea how sweet my victory will be. You’ll see.”

Derkin said he hopes friends and family will send him legally compliant letters and visit only within the appointed times.

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