Peter Schiff Ruins Blackberry Trying to Send Molten Gold to Friend

PETER SCHIFF’S BUNKER – Financial guru and contrarian investor Peter Schiff, who made a name for himself by correctly predicting the 2008 housing bubble pointing out, counter to all the sophisticated economists, that you can’t make people rich by printing more pieces of paper, seems to be the only person on the planet not enamored of Bitcoin.

“It’s a Ponzi scheme”, Said Schiff as he brushed the flakes of gold from his body after his morning swim. “You can’t DO anything with it. It’s numbers floating in space. Can you do the backstroke in your pile of ‘sats’ like I do every morning in my mountains of gold?”

After a public spat with Bitcoin podcaster Peter McCormack about the useful properties of gold vs. Bitcoin, Schiff agreed to demonstrate gold’s superior portability by sending some to a friend. Despite warnings from his live-in metallurgist, Schiff poured a molten gold into the microphone of his Blackberry while on speakerphone with the friend. The phone quickly became unusable and his friend never received the gold on the other end.

“Damn technology”, Said Schiff, “Oh well. Jeeves, ready the pigeons”. Schiff shifted to plan B and has the gold en route via three separate flocks of homing pigeons, only one of which is carrying the metal – a security precaution to keep Robber Falcons confused.

For his part, McCormack initiated a BTC transaction at the same time to demonstrate the value of the “digital” in “digital gold”.

Eight hours later, the pigeons seem to have been delayed by heavy fog, and the BTC is stuck in the memepool. Factoring in the cost of the Blackberry and pigeon food, the attempts by both men have roughly equal transaction costs.

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