DNA Test Shows Fed Money Printer is Father of NFT Minting Process

WASHINGTON – An explosive result of a DNA test conducted Friday shook the crypto industry to its core. According to crypto expert Alejandra Sardishan, it began when Satoshi Nakamoto, the anonymous inventor of Bitcoin, minted 21 million coins out of thin air. “It could have been 1 million or 100 million, it didn’t actually matter…More

Crypto Enthusiast Excited About Innovative Tax Preparations

MINNEAPOLIS – Area man Aaron Gainspoor has incurred tax liabilities through the use of several small, experimental apps that use tiny crypto payments to play games, pet dogs, buy JPGs, post, like, comment, and share content. Gainspoor wanted to be fully legally compliant, so he began taking advanced courses in accounting and tax law so…More

Man’s Wife Refuses to Care About Micropayments

SPOKANE – In an attempt to educate his wife about a breakthrough technology known as micropayments, Sumptoshi Numptymonoto, has been droning on for days about its untapped potential. The technology has been available to businesses for 13 years, yet is used by none, which he says “Goes to prove how valuable it is”. Numptymoto’s wife…More

Craig Wright’s Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas,   Craig Wright gave to me, Twelve key slices,Eleven books-he’s-readingTen token lawsuits,Nine devs-a-cryingEight exchanges closing,Seven white papers,Six patents pending,Five PhDs!  Four drug dealers,  Three frozen nodes,  Two court orders and   A choice between death   Or Thai jail!More

Dispatch from 2035: Craig Wright Tries to Set Critics Straight

THE FUTURE – Craig Wright celebrates his twentieth year of talking publicly about being Satoshi Nakamoto with a groundbreaking conversation. For most people, celebrating their 65th birthday would consist of talking about their retirement plans and grandkids. Not so for Craig Wright, who jumped on a three-hour podcast for a YouTube channel with 15 subscribers…More

Unlike Big Tech, BSV Lets You Pay to Give Away Your Data

BSV supporters heavily promote the blockchain’s ability to let people “own their data”. It’s never been entirely clear how that works, but a groundbreaking new approach where users pay money to upload their data to the public blockchain that anyone can see for free is being touted. Before this new approach, users had to pay…More

BCH Fan Shocked by /r/bitcoin Ban on 50th anniversary of BCH

On August 1, 2067, the user known as u/BCH4Eva posted on the btc subreddit about the censorship that his first post ever was encountering on the bitcoin subreddit. Under the title “/r/bitcoin censorship! I have been banned without a reason!”. The user articulated his shock at finding himself banned from the /r/bitcoin subreddit without even…More

Token Ticker Wars Heat Up

As RelayX announces the ability to buy and sell ticker symbols on its DEX, NPCoin declares a lawsuit against NumptyCoin for using the ticker, NPC, on the exchange. In the lawsuit, NPCoin states that they own several blockchain patents related to NPC and demand that all NumptyCoin holders send their coins directly to the management…More

A Look Into the Starving BSV Developer’s World

The Soon Times recently sat down with developers in the BSV ecosystem to get a better understanding of what motivates them and how the rubber hits the road. Join us on this dive into the culture surrounding the ‘real’ bitcoin development. “It was day three of my fast when all the pieces started coming together.…More

BSV Investors Liquidate Holdings into BTC After Watching “Numpties” Episode

“The Numpties”, hosted on a BSV powered alternative to YouTube called Streamanity, on which you pay BSV to view content, discussed the history and technical merits of BTC in an effort to steelman the arguments laid out by small blockers. The group unanimously reached the conclusion that “number go up”. Shortly after the podcast aired,…More

Craig Wright Launches New Landmark Post

“Bitcoin is not magic internet money. It is not the “blockchain”–nor is it a crypto currency… hehe! hoho!”, Craig Wright riddled Thrusday afternoon. Following-up a post titled, “Sorry I am walking out the door this very moment to go to University for months for very important work” the self-proclaimed inventor of bitcoin revealed more of…More