Peter Schiff & Son Corner Entire Doomsday Market

Famous goldbug and bitcoin skeptic Peter Schiff and his bitcoin believer son Spencer Schiff have between them absorbed 100% of attention and resources from investors who hate the Federal Reserve.

I kept wondering how to get more attention from crazed hard-money libertarians, and I realized the best way was bitcoin” Said the elder Schiff. “Unfortunately, if I supported it, I’d lose all the precious metals people who don’t trust it, and if I attack it, I’d lose those who love it.”

That’s when Spencer proposed a a two-pronged approach that would ensure the Schiff’s could capture everyone who hates the Fed, no matter what their preferred fiat alternative.

I told my dad we could divide and conquer with a faux family feud, where he makes the most over-the-top ill-informed arguments against bitcoin and I make the worst hopium filled empty arguments for it and add laser eyes.”

The Schiffs said there’s a little something for everybody in the libertarian investor world, as Peter appeals to older more skeptical types who are frustrated with their lazy, gainzzz-seeking children and see crypto as a frothy ponzi parroted by young hooligans who weren’t born when Bretton Woods ended. Spencer appeals to the younger crowd who think magic shiny rocks are as dumb as human bodies and we’ll all be uploaded to the cloud via interstellar satellites soon.

“By staging public arguments on Twitter, we’ve got both sides eating out of our hands” added Peter. “No matter what happens, as long as there’s a total catastrophic global economic meltdown, we win.”