Calvin Ayre’s BSV Holdings Frozen, Reassigned to TST After Court Order

LONDON — Calvin Ayre’s Bitcoin SV holdings have been frozen and reassigned to The Soon Times after the TST executive team obtained a court order establishing them as the proper owners of Mr. Ayre’s coins.

TST lawyers presented boxes of evidence to the court, including crayon-drawn Bitcoin SV addresses, coffee stained email receipts for BSV purchases, testimony from the uncle of one TST executive, and a statement from the eminently credible Bitcoin SV Association who for a flat fee agreed to testify that The Soon Times were the rightful owners of the coins.

BSV developers have been ordered to implement a change to the software that miners run which will reassign Mr. Ayre’s coins to TST executives by August 31, 2022, which, at the time of this publication, are worth $126.48 because he dumped the majority of his holdings over the past two years.

Asked what they plan to do with their new coins, TST executives sent us a meme from the movie “Get Out” and said they planned to sell them before the rest of the market is rugged underneath them.