Bitcoin SV Association to Offer “Sue Us And We’ll Settle” Service to ETH, SOL, BTC, and AVX.

ZUG, SWITZERLAND — The BSV Association, which has no relationship whatsoever with Dr. Rev. Craig Wright Esq PhD, CPA, etc, announced today it has completed a successful pilot of its “sue us and we’ll settle service” and plan to expand their services to other blockchains like Ethereum, Solana, Bitcoin, and Avalanche.

The pilot program launched last year when Dr. Craig Wright filed a lawsuit against the BSV Association that alleged they had an obligation to change the core code of the Bitcoin SV software to allow Craig to recover the Satoshi Nakamoto coins, which he claims were stolen from him. It concluded today after it was announced that Bitcoin SV Association had settled with Dr. Craig Wright and agreed to his terms.

BSV Association President, Jimmy Nyugen (also unaffiliated with Craig Wright), said to TST reporters that “we’re very proud of this successful soft launch. How the pilot worked is, first we set up the Bitcoin SV Association as a legally registered NGO in Zug, Switzerland. Then, if you were interested in making some kind of change to the Bitcoin SV protocol, you would sue us and we’d settle with you out of court and agree to all your terms. That way there’s a legal precedent in place that you can use to try to force people to, say, give you access to coins that you lost or never had the private keys for. And we aren’t just some random person or developer, we are the BSV Association, so there’s a kind of legitimacy to our settlement that you wouldn’t get elsewhere. Craig was our first customer but we are sure we’ll have many more.”

Asked about their expanded offerings, Nyugen said “that’s what we are really excited about. Pretty soon, we’ll have an Ethereum Association, a Solana Association, a Doge Association and more. You’ll be able to hire us at a flat rate to go through all the motions of creating what, by all appearances to the court, is a legitimate lawsuit. We’ll settle out of court and give you whatever you want and then we can start pressuring devs to make the code changes you need.”

At this point, Mr. Nyugen smiled and said “It’s a WIN!”