TWITTER – Cryptocurrency has changed the world by allowing 32-year-old men like Davis Braden to send thousands of dollars to women they’ve only ever seen in possibly fake pictures.
“You don’t know how much of a game changer this is. Before crypto, I had no way to demonstrate just how pathetic my simping was. Whether a presumed real person on Twitter or an anime character on DeviantArt, all I could do was look. There was no two-way interaction. Now, I can send ‘her’ a few grand worth of BTC or ETH and she knows we have something special. The fees alone signal my fitness.”
Braden was inspired by the movie ‘Her’ to develop ever deeper relationships with online personas who may be anything from bots to scammers to intelligence agents. But it wasn’t until the groundbreaking invention of Bitcoin that he could pour his money into these digital black holes and get a sense of genuine human connection.
“For me the bond I feel with these Twitter girls is based on the level of suffering I endure on their behalf. The more I send them of the little wealth of scraped together, the more meaning I have. It’s hard to keep escalating it, but what other choice do I have? Leave my mom’s basement?”
Braden feels Satoshi would be proud of his participation in the dream of bitcoin, and he thanks him every night by venerating a Guy Fawkes mask in the corner of his egg-crate mattress grotto.