MONACO – James Schlitzelbert is taking out garbage and mucking the stables on the newly acquired property in the French Riviera of a guy who put all his money into “literally any coin but BSV”.
The owner wished to remain anonymous, but said he’s grown to love BSV, because it’s helped provide a source of low-wage workers to maintain the grounds.
“All these guys who listened to Craig Wright and Calvin Ayre tell them BSV was going to hit $1,200 or $2,000 or whatever. They’re all really low on confidence right now. And also pretty hungry. I can hire them for a song!”
Schlitzelbert is among these investors. In 2019, he traded all of his BTC, ETH, and every other coin he had to acquire more BSV. He recalled those days,
“The utility was there, Craig Wright was there, nChain and their portfolio of patents, court cases about to be decided, the Satoshi coins moving, everyone else in the space getting arrested. BSV was the best ROI you could find.”
In summer of 2021, after no movement in price, Schlitzelbert was forced to leave his home and vagabond about looking for work. He occasionally fantasizes about what might have been.
“Sure, I’d own the yacht instead of swabbing the deck had I not switched from other coins to BSV. Still, I did the right thing. It just felt dirty holding those. I mean, not as dirty as the garbage I sort through after the big shitcoiner parties every weekend, but dirty.”
Despite losing everything and being forced into hourly labor for a shitcoin billionaire, Schlitzelbert remains optimistic.
“I can’t wait for this next hearing in this next case. That will be the big moment. That is, as long as mining hasn’t stopped on BSV by then. Either way, I’ve got a steady job, lots of time outside, and I’ve made some good friends in the on-site zoo. Turns out, it actually IS fun staying poor, so joke’s on them!”