Bitcoin Maximalists Offer Dignity, Future Offspring to Next Celebrity to Tweet about BTC

TWITTER – BTC fans, who pride themselves on being based alphas who don’t care what anyone else thinks, are publicly begging every B-list celebrity in existence to please Tweet about BTC so other people will take it seriously.

The pleas began as simple requests in the comments, but quickly escalated to offers such as their eternal souls, their indentured servitude, what remains of their dignity, and even their (highly theoretical) future offspring.

BTC will dominate no matter what anyone says. We don’t need to win any popularity contests, that’s why we’re toxic maxima….wait, what? The guy who played the grocery bagger in Home Alone asked what Bitcoin is? Just a minute, I’m gonna go offer him my (potential future) girlfriend to see if he’ll join BTC!” Said a prominent bitcoiner in an interview with TST.

So far, a raft of minor celebrities have made vague Tweets about bitcoin, which has brought temporary meaning to the lives of hundreds of BTC maximalists.

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