Craig Wright Asks Judge to Grant Him Untithed Earnings from Former Congregation

LONDON – Ontier LLP, the law firm representing Craig S. Wright, the man who claims to have invented bitcoin, has filed papers requesting several months of unpaid tithes from congregants of Wright’s former church.

Wright, in addition to being a computer security expert who has been hacked more than anyone on the planet, was also a Michelin rated sous-chef, a pumpkin gardener, and a pastor at various points in his life. The lawsuit claims that, while serving as a minister, his entire congregation of 120 people failed to properly pay the customary 10% of their earnings to the church at least one Sunday.

Wright elaborated on the case,

All these people think tithe can be done whenever, or based on what your conscience dictates. Bullshit! I’ve studied the Old Testament, and you can’t fucking skimp on weekly tithes to the local church. Let’s just see how that turns out. The Kingdom of God is a kingdom of law!”

When asked whether any judge will grant such a request so many years later for something people undertake voluntarily with no contractual obligation to pay tithes and no precedent, Wright responded,

All these other churches are illegal bucket shops. My church was fully compliant. I have all the documents – except all the ones that Greg Maxwell hacked and back-dated. Even the regular ‘tithers’ have it coming. You see the thing most people don’t realize is that tithes have to come from your gross income; it’s a sin to tithe 10% of your net income. So a lot of people who thought they were playing by the rules are actually criminals.”

Billionaire gambling mogul Calvin Ayre, who is thought to be funding the lawsuit, Tweeted,

Craig has shown me passages from his personal Bible in private – I’ve seen the coffee stains on the book of Judges – so I know he’s got more than enough evidence. Craig will win all his cases. Soon.”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.