Leak Reveals nChain Businesses Plan

LONDON – A low-level hack of cyber security expert and technology company nChain resulted in a leak of highly sensitive information yesterday.

Prominent among leaked items was nChain’s three-part business plan. The confidential memo obtained by TST outlined the firms roadmap:

1. All our enemies go to prison.

2. ???

3. Profit.

The source of the leak is unknown, but an nChain spokesperson said they are rapidly adjusting to ward off competitors who might see the documents and attempt to copy their strategy.

The only other document leaked thus far is an image of a coffee stained paper with a rusty staple and the words, “Risk. Finance. Lawr.” scrawled on it. Instead of a date stamp, the lower right corner of the paper reads, “The date was tampered with by malicious actors.”

TST will stay on the story and report updates as we receive them.

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